What My Daughter’s 5th Grade Teacher Taught Me About Being a Gifted Adult

A teacher who changes who we are and how we look at life.  This year, my daughter was fortunate enough to have such a teacher. This man had a profound impact on my daughter.  And, by association, he also affected how I understand my giftedness as an adult. This is what I was either reminded of or learned for the first time.

1. Being gifted means you’re different.  Not better.  Not worse.  Simply different.
2. Be responsible to yourself.  My daughter’s teacher made it very clear:  school was not about pleasing the teacher (though he would need to assign a grade) or one’s parents (though parents are important) .  Understand and be conscious of  your own standards.  Work toward having your actions to reflect YOUR standards first.  But also be aware of your context and work with those around you. 
3. Get over the idea that the world is going to understand/care/accommodate your giftedness.  Take responsibility FOR yourself.  For example, my daughter’s teacher indicated that my daughter has a significant need for autonomy.  He coached her on both how to actively find autonomy in an environment non-conducive to autonomy (school) while also coaching her on how to temper and manage her need for autonomy when autonomy was not possible.  But the message was: it is my daughter’s responsibility to understand her need for autonomy, not the rest of the world.  And she was taught that she has the ability to manage it.
4. Get involved.  This was  a new school for my introverted daughter – and like the rest of her gifted class, with the encouragement of her teacher, she joined so many clubs  that I lost track.  Her core group of friends was in her gifted class but by Christmas she pretty much knew the entire school having been a kindergarten helper, library monitor, crossing guard etc.  Her teacher told me that gifted students have a tendency to isolate so the school took steps to promote extra-curricular integration.
5. Take what you do seriously but don’t take yourself so seriously all the time.  A gifted student’s tendency towards introspection and thoughtfulness was supported in class but there was also  a lot of silliness and laughter.
6. Music enhances life.  Music infused everything in my daughter’s classroom.  Lyrics were written all over the classroom walls.  The children sang.  Listened to music. Created music. 
7. Learn about the broader world and appreciate how lucky you are.  My daughter and her class raised money and corresponded with students in Mexico.  They raised money and walked in solidarity with children in Africa.  She learned about poisoned children’s toys made in China.  Watched documentaries on child labour in developing countries.

The most impressive lesson was found not in what my daughter’s teacher said but what he did.  He is a walking role model: passionate, enthusiastic and creative in his vocation.  It was inspirational to see, firsthand, a gifted adult triumph over the bureaucracy and conformity intrinsic to our education system.  Even after 23 years.

Basically, what I learned was this: I am different but ultimately, it’s my life and I need to make sure I accept responsibility for it by taking action.  It’s my responsibility to make sure my life is consistent with my expectations while remembering to be realistic.  Both my daughter and I were lucky to have these lessons.

Tagged as: adult, career, education, Gifted Children, Gifted Parents, intelligence, Intelligence quotient, IQ, job, personality traits, Work