Comments on: Ever Think Your Own Giftedness is Frustrating Your Gifted Child?

By: So those percolating ideas? « Raising Smart Girls

So those percolating ideas? « Raising Smart Girls — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:55:43 +0000

[...] recently came across this post from Gifted Universe called Ever Think Your Own Giftedness is Frustrating Your Gifted Child, and this particular section bothered me for days. I believe children are most strongly influenced [...]

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:14:27 +0000

I have also been struck by this topic while doing SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted) groups for parents. I will be speaking about this topic at the upcoming California Association for the Gifted conference in March 2010. I am currently collecting examples from clinicians to include in my presentation. Please e-mail me if your are interested!

By: Matthew

Matthew — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 02:13:51 +0000

Having gifted parents means not getting to slack-off or get away with stuff you could otherwise (i.e., they know better) not to mention making giftedness normal. It can, given the varied effects giftedness may have, mean other things. Put in terms of titles of those helpful Scriptographic booklets we got in school (balloon figures, easy to read, on lovely topics such as “Bulimia” or “Sexually Transmitted Dieases” or “Alcohol”) we could have:

When a Parent’s Perfectionistic and You’re Not

Do I Have to Be a Vegan, Liberal Pacifist Living in a Commune?

and

Mom and Dad, Chill About the Coming Ice Age, Global Warming or Whatever It Is Now Already, I Get It!

Of course, giftedness might not directly affect that , but the DEGREE of that it sure can. Parents and kids may or may not want to do different things, as you know.

By: Rob Graham

Rob Graham — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 22:08:34 +0000

Here’s perhaps a different topic: ever think your giftedness as a child frustrates your not-necessarily-labelled-as-gifted children? Is it a lot for them to live up to?

How do adults who read the politics section of the newspaper as 10-year-olds feel about their own kids who don’t? Is it frustrating?

As a former “gifted” student I don’t like the label. It did give me advantages of a class of similar kids and an instructor who helped me look at the world differently. But does it really matter as an adult? I would do everything to prevent myself being labeled a gifted adult. Perhaps I’m of the anti-gifted persuasion…

By: Elisa

Elisa — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:21:37 +0000

I totally understand – despite being identified as gifted as a child, my experience parenting my gifted daughter was the catalyst for taking another look at myself as an adult.

On another note – I took a look at your website and was interested to see your blog post on returning to the theatre http://www.leosoderman.com/?p=154 – funny coincidence…in addition to attending a gifted program, I also attended a school for the arts and spent many years rooted in the theatre. Recently, a classmate of mine who attended both programmes got in touch with me and it got me thinking about the overlap between artistic and intellectual giftedness. The competition to be in the arts programme was very stiff and the academic programme represented the top 2% of a standardized assessment – interesting how many of us wound up in both programmes. Had me thinking about a number of things: the congruency of the emotional sensitivities of both groups, that in both programmes we tended to be more physically demonstrative than other students, wondering how many of us have now set aside the creative part of ourselves for ‘grown up responsibilities’, made me miss the feeling of being surrounded by a likeminded group of people working towards an end goal (performance). Your post mentions how you miss the confidence and fearlessness of youth – I’m guessing that aging does that to a lot of us anyway, but I wonder if that process is accelerated for sensitive gifted adults in a non-supportive environment. By the way, I think it’s awesome that you’re actively finding ways to incorporate your creative side.

By: Leo

Leo — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 06:13:16 +0000

Wow! It was only recently, when starting to research parenting of my gifted 6-year-old, that I started to see the many traits that gifted kids carry into adulthood. Many of the traits described in various books suddenly jumped out at me. They were not only describing my daughter, but describing my experience as a child.

Recently I came to the realization that I had allowed myself to dampen down my enthusiasm, drive and passion. Of course, it was an experience with my daughter that triggered it, and it took the characteristic navel gazing of a gifted individual to really make me see what was going on. So I embarked on a series of projects to reignite my flame. And the main reason was because I want my daughter to see Daddy at his best. If I don’t show her my best, how can I expect her to try to achieve her best?

It is a challenge, to say the least. But your post hits the nail on the head. Our intensity should not be dimmed, but celebrated. And by doing so, we show our kids how to celebrate their as well.

By: Lisa Lauffer

Lisa Lauffer — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:57:41 +0000

AMEN! As a life coach to gifted grownups and parents of gifted children, I see exactly what you’re saying over and over in spades. You have raised extremely salient points, ones we need to explore more. I am actively pursuing this topic; tomorrow on my blog I will post a ginormous list of gifted grownup characteristics. I hope that you visit, that we can continue this dialog, and that we can see gifted grownups living fulfilled lives and making the impact on the world–and on their children–that they were created to make.