Comments on: Gifted Women: Finding Satisfaction at Work http://gifteduniverse.com/work/gifted-women-satisfaction-work/ Gifted Adults Wed, 09 Jun 2010 06:29:38 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.3 hourly 1 By: Raising Smart Girls http://gifteduniverse.com/work/gifted-women-satisfaction-work/comment-page-1/#comment-117 Raising Smart Girls Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:50:32 +0000 http://gifteduniverse.com/?p=368#comment-117 Oh, and you also might be interested in reading Creating a Life: Professional Women and The Quest for Children by Sylvia Ann Hewlitt. It's an interesting look at the trade-offs with delaying childbearing until the late 30s and into the 40s in order to pursue high achieving careers. More importantly, it talks about the problem with the feminist movement in America compared to Europe. European women weren't looking for equality in the workforce as much as they were looking to deal with the needs of women and their FAMILIES (lots of time off after childbirth with maternity and paternity time, flexible work options, childcare options etc). American women simply "forgot" to address the problem of what to do about the families when they came. THAT's why we have inferior support systems in place for family leave and childcare (feminists forgot to demand that in the quest to be equal). In order for women to feel they are equal to men, the child rearing was ignored completely. We kind of shot ourselves in the foot with that one. Oh, and you also might be interested in reading Creating a Life: Professional Women and The Quest for Children by Sylvia Ann Hewlitt. It’s an interesting look at the trade-offs with delaying childbearing until the late 30s and into the 40s in order to pursue high achieving careers. More importantly, it talks about the problem with the feminist movement in America compared to Europe. European women weren’t looking for equality in the workforce as much as they were looking to deal with the needs of women and their FAMILIES (lots of time off after childbirth with maternity and paternity time, flexible work options, childcare options etc). American women simply “forgot” to address the problem of what to do about the families when they came. THAT’s why we have inferior support systems in place for family leave and childcare (feminists forgot to demand that in the quest to be equal). In order for women to feel they are equal to men, the child rearing was ignored completely. We kind of shot ourselves in the foot with that one.

]]> By: Raising Smart Girls http://gifteduniverse.com/work/gifted-women-satisfaction-work/comment-page-1/#comment-116 Raising Smart Girls Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:43:05 +0000 http://gifteduniverse.com/?p=368#comment-116 The thing that I feel compromises a woman's choices in a lot of ways is this: the more children you have, the more logistically difficult it is to combine work and family. One child plus a scientific career was a cakewalk (but basically because my mother in law lived 20 minutes away and she came to my house to babysit my child). Then my MIL watched my other child too. But after I came home at night from work, two children was incredibly draining. I'd come home after being gone 11 hours a day because I commuted to the city. I came home to spend "quality time" with my 2 young daughters - trying to fit in as much face to face contact with my toddler and nurse my infant, and get them down for their night-time routine which included bath, stories and songs by myself (at that time, my husband lost his engineering job due to financial problems of the company following 9/11 and he had to take a job that he worked nights at) . If anyone knows anything about nursing infants, you can be up multiple times a night in the early months. Then I had to get out the door at 7 am to start the day all over again. I didn't have the stamina to endure the exhaustion and didn't have my husband to assist with the night-time shift. No having night-time support after a full time job was extremely difficult. After 3 months of being a SAHM, we got pregnant again (the day my husband was supposed to get a vasectomy!). Handling three closely spaced kids and a career would have been extremely difficult (for me) to cope with. Then logistics are a problem. I live close enough to my three daughters schools that someone has to drive them to school (no bus service). My husband has to be at work by 7:30 (but comes home by 4:30!). That leaves me to take 2 of them to school at 8:10, and the third one to preschool at 9:00. Then I pick up my kindergartener from half day kindergarten at 10:40, and my preschooler at 11:00, then go back to pick up my second grader at 2:40. So...if I didn't quit my job, who would I outsource this too? Sure, I suppose I could ask or pay a neighbor to do it, or I could ask my husband to get a different job (he's now in a decent engineering job again), but both options aren't really options. I could also outsource all this to a daycare center. Many parents do. But...I couldn't do that to my kids. The thought makes me ill. In my opinion, my kids deserve to have me at home. I struggle with it being a little difficult to find challenge for myself, but I've used my background to teach my kids some neat things, and be an advocate for my gifted girls one of whom was formerly selectively mute. I wouldn't have been able to get my daughter the help she needed if I was gone 11 hours a day. Wwhat will happen when my kids are all in school from 8:10-2:40? Well, I don't know of too many scientific jobs that cover those hours, although if I do find another career again, I can pay to have the kids attend the afterschool program. Yet...I've seen how badly they care for the kids. No structure, lots of chaos, and not really able to keep an eye of all 30-40 kids. It's a real conundrum. I've chosen to put my development on hold because I wasn't satisfied with the alternatives. And that's just it, there's not a lot of HIGH QUALITY alternatives for working mothers. The thing that I feel compromises a woman’s choices in a lot of ways is this: the more children you have, the more logistically difficult it is to combine work and family. One child plus a scientific career was a cakewalk (but basically because my mother in law lived 20 minutes away and she came to my house to babysit my child). Then my MIL watched my other child too. But after I came home at night from work, two children was incredibly draining. I’d come home after being gone 11 hours a day because I commuted to the city. I came home to spend “quality time” with my 2 young daughters – trying to fit in as much face to face contact with my toddler and nurse my infant, and get them down for their night-time routine which included bath, stories and songs by myself (at that time, my husband lost his engineering job due to financial problems of the company following 9/11 and he had to take a job that he worked nights at) . If anyone knows anything about nursing infants, you can be up multiple times a night in the early months. Then I had to get out the door at 7 am to start the day all over again. I didn’t have the stamina to endure the exhaustion and didn’t have my husband to assist with the night-time shift. No having night-time support after a full time job was extremely difficult.

After 3 months of being a SAHM, we got pregnant again (the day my husband was supposed to get a vasectomy!). Handling three closely spaced kids and a career would have been extremely difficult (for me) to cope with.

Then logistics are a problem. I live close enough to my three daughters schools that someone has to drive them to school (no bus service). My husband has to be at work by 7:30 (but comes home by 4:30!). That leaves me to take 2 of them to school at 8:10, and the third one to preschool at 9:00. Then I pick up my kindergartener from half day kindergarten at 10:40, and my preschooler at 11:00, then go back to pick up my second grader at 2:40.

So…if I didn’t quit my job, who would I outsource this too? Sure, I suppose I could ask or pay a neighbor to do it, or I could ask my husband to get a different job (he’s now in a decent engineering job again), but both options aren’t really options. I could also outsource all this to a daycare center. Many parents do. But…I couldn’t do that to my kids. The thought makes me ill.

In my opinion, my kids deserve to have me at home. I struggle with it being a little difficult to find challenge for myself, but I’ve used my background to teach my kids some neat things, and be an advocate for my gifted girls one of whom was formerly selectively mute. I wouldn’t have been able to get my daughter the help she needed if I was gone 11 hours a day.

Wwhat will happen when my kids are all in school from 8:10-2:40? Well, I don’t know of too many scientific jobs that cover those hours, although if I do find another career again, I can pay to have the kids attend the afterschool program. Yet…I’ve seen how badly they care for the kids. No structure, lots of chaos, and not really able to keep an eye of all 30-40 kids.

It’s a real conundrum. I’ve chosen to put my development on hold because I wasn’t satisfied with the alternatives.

And that’s just it, there’s not a lot of HIGH QUALITY alternatives for working mothers.

]]> By: Kathryn http://gifteduniverse.com/work/gifted-women-satisfaction-work/comment-page-1/#comment-115 Kathryn Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:30:22 +0000 http://gifteduniverse.com/?p=368#comment-115 Economic changes suggest that the traditional male career path is becoming a thing of the past. It's possible that frequent career changes for men will result in less stigmatization of the choices that women are inclined to make. Maybe we will finally be rewarded equitably for our social contributions. Economic changes suggest that the traditional male career path is becoming a thing of the past. It’s possible that frequent career changes for men will result in less stigmatization of the choices that women are inclined to make. Maybe we will finally be rewarded equitably for our social contributions.

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